AnnieBresee

It's been almost a year. A year since his last moments on Earth, alive that is. Jack, he made such an impact on my life, yet when I look back at our memories, they have been slipping through my hands like sand and now I just have a few grains left of his essence. I'm scared to death of forgetting. I'm scared I'm going to forget the time when he was taking care of me and we filled up water balloons, and crawled into the trashcans in front of my house. We peeked from under the lids, and whenever somebody would walk by we would start talking and make weird noises. We scared a lot of people, and it was all great fun. When my mom pulled up to the driveway from work, we jumped out of the trashcans and threw the water balloons at her. There was no such thing as a dull moment with Jack.
I used to have so many memories and now I only have a few. One time when he was taking care of me some time in the winter, we went on a walk to a river near my house. We jumped on the ice on the river, trying to make it break. We then proceeded to make little sail boats out of sticks. With a piece of string, we led our sailboats down the river. We ran as fast as we could, determined to beat the other. We fell down when we could run no more and laughed. I remember being at his mom's house. We went to the backyard with a bunch of his legos and other building toys. We constructed our own castles and then we prepared for battle. I don't know if I had ever had such fun. That night, we played all sorts of games and I never wanted it to end. Even when I was about seven, he had me talking and thinking about the meaning of life. We went on adventures on the bus with no real destination sometimes. We would go on adventures to the park late at night, and play until we could move no more. One time when I was in about second grade, Jack and my sister Lily spent the night at my dad's house. They were supposed to take me to school the next day, that's not exactly what happened though. We all slept in, and we went to many thrift stores. This was a big deal for me at the time, I had never skipped school before.
The last time I saw him, I hadn't seen him for years. So much had changed, especially Lily. He was at school for whatever reason, we hugged and our conversation was filled with nothings. He still smelt of body odor and sun. His hair still the tangled mess, his clothes grimy. So familiar, it felt as if nothing had changed, but everything had. He brought so much life to the world, there was never a moment he didn't LIVE. There are so many people who will never live as much as he did, even if he did die at 23.
I remember the moment I was told that he had died. His name rung in my ears and it didn't seem real. I even laughed, not that I thought it was funny, it just didn't seem real. It still doesn't seem like it can be real, but I know it must be because I can feel it. My laughs were followed by tears, in which I shared wiht Lily. Even a week ago, Lily said that there is a not a day that goes by where she doesn't think about him. And even though they hadn't talked for awhile, she always saw him in her future. The wound in my heart still feels fresh. I wish he was still here, so we could talk, go on adventures, cook good food. I want his legacy to live on, I want to live like he did, not a moment wasted. That's why I'm so scared. I don't want his way of life to be forgotten. I wish I had payed better attention.